Alle Beiträge verschlagwortet mit music

Breathing Room

Veröffentlicht Juni 5, 2014 von Zarah

Breathing Room

An extra room has magically been added to your home overnight. The catch: if you add more than three items to it, it disappears. How do you use it?


O how amazingly fantastically wonderful! The dance room I always wanted has magically appeared overnight! I am beside myself with joy! Finally I have room to MOVE! All my other rooms are packed with stuff. Immediately I set about installing my mini stereo system in that room. It has a USB plug, so the only things I’ll need is the stereo and the USB stick with my music – that makes two items. (At least I hope that the system including speakers only counts as one item.) Every day now, I will come to this room first thing in the morning after breakfast, and dance the 5 Rhythms. I’m not really a morning person, so it’s good to get into that Flowing rhythm first, reacquainting my being with my physical body, getting the two of them back together after the night’s journeys into other realms. I stretch my limbs luxuriously, feel the bare floor under my feet, let the music guide me into soft, flowing, continuous movements that remind me of water – yes it’s called Flowing for a reason. 😉 Water just flows wherever the movement takes it. It has no resistance against going anywhere – it circles around rocks, falls down sheer dizzying drops, rises in steam upwards into the air, falls down again as rain … as I surrender to the music and the stiff parts of my body open up and relax more and more, this sensation of being like water increases until I feel completely at one with the movement. There can be no greater bliss than this. I give myself to it wholeheartedly, enjoying every second.

After a while that feels like an eternity, the rhythm changes. It becomes more defined, revealing sharp edges and something like a kick. Moving in Staccato feels a bit like martial arts movements at first – sharp, focused and clear. There is a distinctive beginning and end to each movement. Then my hips start moving rhythmically to the beat. I feel a bit self-conscious, it feels so erotic. But since I have not added a mirror to the room, I can’t see myself, and I am alone here, so it really doesn’t matter what I look like. 😉 It feels good – my breath goes deep into my belly, my whole body feels energized. I swing my hips a bit more. It’s fun. From my hips, the movement travels up my body, rocking my chest and my arms. I choose to just let go …

… and bit by bit I am transported into Chaos. As I let go more and more, my body takes over. It’s more intelligent than my mind when it comes to movement Most of the time I don’t acknowledge that, so dancing Chaos creates a zone of freedom for my body where it can just move the way it feels, can shake off all the stuff I have been shoving down into my tissues and my belly in the name of politeness, correctness and, let’s face it, fear. It’s fear that makes me swallow down stuff when I feel I would rather scream. But here, in this magical room, in this Chaos rhythm, screaming is allowed for once. My voice rises up from deep down in my guts … at first it’s only a suppressed groan, but I encourage myself to let go into my breath more deeply, letting it rise upwards into my chest and my throat, touch my vocal chords and actually release a sound while my body threshes on the floor in a movement my rational mind (who is still watching from the backseat of my awareness) doesn’t recognize. After that, I don’t know what happens anymore. All awareness of my surroundings fades, I am just this body that writhes, breathes, screams, moans and shakes uncontrollably. Actually, there is really no one there who could exercise any kind of control anymore. The controlling part of me has just taken itself elsewhere, because there is no room for it here.

After a while, the movements gradually become slower and my breath quiets down. I feel exhausted, my body is covered in sweat. My brain kicks in again. O my god, what on earth was that? But it feels good, like I have released tons of stuff that were weighing me down. Almost like being reborn, if that is not to big a word …

While I am still finding my bearings, the music changes again. It sounds more playful now, much lighter than before. I look at my toes and wiggle them a bit. It’s fun. Maybe I can do a bit more of this. I tilt my ankles, back and forth. A grin spreads across my face. I feel like a little child, playing with my body parts, exploring what strange movements I might do with them. I experiment some more, curl up my fingers and watch them moving. When was the last time I just watched my own hands? I can’t remember. Usually I just use them to do things with but I never actually take much notice of them. Now I see them as if for the first time. Wow! They do funny things. The movements of my hands and fingers spread up my arms, my elbows start making flying motions, as if my arms were wings and I could just rise up in the air if I flap them enough. Which doesn’t happen, but it still feels a bit like flying. I start rolling my spine and my head and just stay with these movements for a while, playing with them and enjoying myself hugely.

Finally, the music becomes much slower, quieter … all the lively movement dies down, there is only peace left inside both my body and my mind. I breathe. No, it’s not “I” who breathes anymore. It breathes. It’s breathing me, not the other way around. A huge expanse of wide open space has opened up inside my body. Is it “my” body at all? I don’t feel so sure of that anymore. It feels more like a universe that stretches into infinity. There is no inside and no outside. It just is. Wow … that’s all I can feel right now. Just wow. I lie down on the floor, allowing myself to experience this huge silent breath, this infinite space.

And I say a silent Thank you to this magical room that has made all this possible.